Archive for October, 2011
I have just been having a cuppa with a friend whom I love spending time with. She is one of those people that gets me, I am lucky enough to have a few friends like that. It’s comfortable and warm and lovely. I have a few that aren’t, but does that mean we can’t get along? Not at all. You have those friends that were placed in your life for a reason right? and literally you feel it. I like those moments. You connect on a deeper level and totally understand each other. She is the one you run to when you hurt, snot and tears streaming down your face onto your white t-shirt.
Anyway, this particular friend is sensitive, like me. I think that because of my tough exterior and outspoken personality (keep it inside folks!) people often miss that in me. I am the ferocious Mama bear protecting her cubs. I proudly wear that title like a Calvin Klein jacket, with comfortable pride. On the other hand there is the sensitive me. I don’t just mean sensitive skin, stomach (at times), feelings etc. I am also sensitive to energies. Some of you I may have lost at that sentence. You may think it’s an excuse to be weak or it doesn’t exist. Spiritual nonsense. Those of y0u that don’t beleive what they can’t see. That’s OK, I respect your opinion. I won’t try to change it.
How many times have you been having an enjoyable, positive conversation with somebody and something confrontational and negative is said? I have too many times. I feel it too. The energy changes and I feel the all too familiar surge of frustration and need to retaliate. Not physically of course. Emotionally. I go away from these conversations having responded negatively thus snowballing the energies in the room in that direction. Why do I respond that way? I know how some people strip you of your positive energies to empower themselves like an unseen feeding frenzy. I have spent time with friends that behave this way and I go home feeling defeated, not wanting to return anytime soon. Robbed of my positive glow, I go home with some additional emotional baggage I did not ask for nor do I need. Don’t get me wrong, I am very willing to listen when my friends have troubles and love nothing more that working things out with them. Ultimately though, you will come across somebody that does not want to feel better and is stuck in a never ending loop of negative misery because that is what they come to expect for reasons you may or may not know.I am not a psychologist so I cannot explain this further. I do not wish to judge that comfort in negativity. I just need to know how to best deal with it from my perspective.
I may have said this before but, my Mum always said “Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes”.
We may not know why some enjoy the misfortune of others and wish to bring people down but the truth is they are out there. Masses of them, like Zombies feeding on the positive to feed their own negative energy. I am going to look at it simply from now on (or at least try) when in a similar situation, why do I feel this way, does it belong to me? If not, you can keep it, I will leave it with you (so hard to achieve). Endless times I feel another person’s frustrations or anger, even though they may say “I’m doing great” or “Nothing is wrong”. Oh yes there is, I can feel it. I can almost touch this dark cloud of emotion you have brought into the room. I have one more sense you didn’t realise i had.
I need to take my own advice sometimes and acknowledge who the lingering negativity belongs to, if it’s not mine, I won’t accept that gift thank you, it’s not a very nice one. You keep it. I can help you get rid of it though. Here have some positive moments.
Snowball the positives, melt the negatives. I’m certainly going to try.
Love Kelly x
I am in the process of going back through my book so far and recording the basic structure on paper. I realize I had written two names for the gothic girl when those first few chapters were coming together and I wasn’t at all happy with her name. I have now taken out all Maddie’s from the book, I didn’t like the name, it didn’t fit her personality at all so she was replaced. Funny how a writer needs to know his/her characters so well, history, likes, dislikes etc. Then how easy it is to be impersonal about them, like having a sims character in front of you, no don’t like that name, lets change it. I feel like I already have a lost souls dimension of flawed characters that didn’t quite make it. Poor unfortunate misfits! ;o)
Anyway, I need some structure, so that is what I am doing right now. Initially, once I had the story idea in my head I wrote one paragraph. That paragraph sat on my home pc for around 18 months. Its desperate need to grow eventually leading me to show my husband and teens after two (bravery inducing) glasses of wine. The response I got was a HUGE confidence boost, encouraging me to progress. So I did, I planned the structure of the book, the backbone of the story. That was around 12 months ago. So now as I sit here and bulletpoint my story, chapter by chapter and compare it to what I first planned, it is amazing to see the amount of change that has occured. No doubt there with be more and more change to come too. A literary roller coaster ride.
So from the conception of idea, to my current placing in Chapter 11 has taken me around 2 1/2 years. Procrastination has been my biggest downfall, but hey, I still love the story and the characters. If it takes me another four years, its ok. My aim is still the same. My ambition still remains and I love my ‘moments’ lost in the depths of my book. No deadline. No pressure, just enjoyable writing at my own pace. Lovely. Amongst the special things (and people- Love you my wonderful family and friends!) I cherish this Thanksgiving weekend, I’m Thankful for that.
Happy Thanksgiving ‘moments’
Love Kelly x
I am not posting a long blog today as I am venturing into the world of writing Fiction. I love portraying the character of Katherine in dire situations, gets my heart racing and my fingers can hardly keep up with my mind.
Here is my twitter post:
“The happiest feeling to complete another Chapter
#exciting!! Onto Chapter 10….”
I CANNOT wait for you all to read it. No more previews from Chapter 8 to keep you all in suspense.
Feedback for the first 8 welcome!In first draft form it has many faults but the story is too good to not make perfect. Kimber let me know where you read to. Vicky, did you continue on with what i gave you?
After that, I shall be requesting the services of an editor. So Exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have the mundane task of re-organizing my kitchen today. I know (YAWN!), I’m interesting aren’t i.
Whilst sorting through all sorts of useless and useful stuff my mind begins to wander (as it does) and I wondered what to do with my old dish towels, you know, stained, holes, seen better days. I am an avid recycler whenever I can be, so I wondered if I could put these in the recycling bag. NO. Where do i put them then? You got it, in the regular waste bin bag which will eventually end up in a landfill somewhere, not breaking down as fast as society dumps their old clothing, materials etc. Sad really. Anyone any thoughts on this?
I did mange to find out what to do with my old out of date medicines/prescriptions. You have to pop them all out of their packaging into one plastic (e.g. ziplock) bag, put all the packaging in the recycling and take the bag with the old medicine/tablets to your local pharmacy/drugstore where they will send it off to be incinerated. Therefore it does not get lost in a landfill, into the earth, possibly creating some future mutant breed of scary drug fuelled species.
So there you go, useful information of the day :o)